


My Heart Has a Chamber of Trust

by englland



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: F/M, Friends With Benefits, M/M, Shit goes down, im sorry, no happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-12
Updated: 2016-02-12
Packaged: 2018-05-19 23:56:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5985406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/englland/pseuds/englland
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Josh was in love, Tyler wasn't. Josh still is in love.</p><p> </p><p>Or Tyler and Josh start a 'friends with benefits' relationship and things don't work out very well.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Heart Has a Chamber of Trust

**Author's Note:**

> WARNING: this is my first twenty one pilots fanfiction so my apologies if this makes no sense. This oneshot is as well my first published fanfiction in english. 
> 
> Just to clarify: English IS NOT my native language and even thought i've been studying it for a long time, i'm not 'an expert' but i'm still learning and trying to do my best. I read and re-read this story like a thousand times and edited at my own way but.... any grammatical/structure mistakes or any other thing that you might find here belongs to me and to me only. Feel free to point out if something is wrong.
> 
> btw sorry if all this looks too confusing, it might be a little hard to proper understand what's going on
> 
> the fanfiction was inspired by the song "flatliners" by twin shadow and by [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1HzKLU2EH9w) fanmade video
> 
> oh goddamn i talk too much

Sometimes Josh wishes he could turn back. Well, to tell you the truth, he wishes this very often. Simply go back to when everything was easier; when he used to smile a lot, to laugh a lot, and his only worries were struggle to pay his bills and not to blurt his real feelings for his best friend. Man, those were the days.

Josh was in love with his best friend and band mate. How cliché, right? You can say that Josh is a very fortunate man.

Josh and Tyler have and always had this weird chemistry. Maybe it was because they are from very similar families and costumes. Maybe it is the fact that they were meant to be friends and to work on music together. Josh believes that, somehow, they are soul mates.

“Ya know, Ty... It’s just...” Josh scratched the back of his neck, struggling to find the right words to say or otherwise it would sound inappropriate. “I really believe in soul mates. I read once that they exist but not always in a romantic way. I mean, I think there are certain people you will meet in your life who you just connect with more than anyone else and you just know it isn't a typical thing. You just, ugh, how can I say it...? You understand each other perfectly. And this person won't be always your "significant other"... It could be just about anyone you've ever interacted with.” Josh shrugged like his speech wasn't a big deal.

“Yeah... Maybe you’re kinda right about it. Have you already found your soul mate?” Tyler gave him a wicked smile, wiggling his eyebrows in a suggestive way.

Josh froze. Not because of the question but because he was completely starstruck by the man in front of him. His big puppy eyes, the relaxed but a little sleepy look of his face, his fluffy and messy hair… He was so gorgeous. Suddenly Josh came back from his reveries.

“I think I have.” A smile popped up from his lips, the amusement of his face covering up his embarrassment.

“Who?” Tyler asked in a high-pitched tone.

“Youuuuuuu…” Josh sang giggling. Both of them started laughing.

“Of course it’s me, Jishwa, I don’t even know why I asked.”

“You’re so self-sure, huh?”

 “You can say so. You are my soul mate too.” Tyler leaned closer in order to make a fist-bump. Josh chuckled sadly (the ‘sadly’ part completely unnoticed by Tyler) but he did the fist-bump anyway.

Tyler got up from the dressing-room sofa, heading towards the door. “Friends soul mates, music soul mates, hometown soul mates…”  He babbled while exiting the room.

Josh sat there, alone with his thoughts.

 

 

Things change; it’s the natural course of life. But never, not even in a million years, Josh could imagine that the things between Tyler and him would change so much. Their conversations started to get deeper than ever, their jokes and pranks started to get more sexual and less playful, and their bond started to get stronger. Josh should have seen it coming.

One night, after a fantastic concert, they shared a kiss. Actually, it was more a quick peck on the lips, but it was a kiss and they were friends and it was awkward anyway.

“Huh…” Josh was frozen.

“It was- it was the heat of the moment.” Tyler said in a rush while waving his hands, his eyes scanning every corner of the room but not daring to look at Josh.

“Yeah, yeah, you are right. I’m sorry, by the way.” Josh was also struggling to find proper words.

“No, it was my fault. It’s-it’s okay…” Tyler finally met Josh’s eyes. Maybe the redheaded was seeing things – maybe it was the ‘heat of the moment, just like Tyler said – but there was something different about Tyler this time. His eyes were glimmering more but his face looked sadder.

“It won’t happen again.” Josh looked down, trying to convince himself more than anything.

Tyler nodded. “It won’t.”

 

 

But it did happen again. One more time, then another time and a lot of other times. At first, it was just casual. They would be sitting in front of each other, having dinner and then Tyler would ask if Josh could give him a couple of his fries. Josh would nod and then push the plate to the brown-haired man. Tyler would peck his lips in form of gratitude.  Or they would be playing Mario kart for hours and after the fifth time that Tyler lost a race, Josh would kiss him to make it better. The list went on and on: when Tyler wrote a brand new song and showed to Josh, they would kiss. If Josh found out something Tyler was looking for, they would kiss. It was like their new ‘thing’. Like an “I gotcha, bro.”

But friends were not supposed to do this, in Josh’s point of view.

Their kisses started to get rough, their touches were needy, their looks were fonder.  Things started to go downhill after that.

“I was just thinking-you know… Maybe we could, huh, maybe we could give a try. If it’s not weird for you.” Tyler blurted out one night when they were in their hotel rooms. Josh looked up to see his best friend with a concerned face.

It surprised Josh; it really did. He always believed that one day his fucked up mind would crash and betray him. He thought that one day he would go after Tyler and say “Dude, I like you. More than friends, more than band mates… more than anything. I really like you.” But Tyler made the first move – one more time.

“It’s not weird. Yeah, we can try.”

 

 

Josh regrets his decision every day now. He should’ve denied. He should’ve seen it coming, sooner or later but no. He went far too deep and now he’s lost and by himself.

 

 

Everything was just fine. Their band was getting bigger and bigger, their songs were getting better and better – one of them actually was played by a famous radio station – and they were even being recognized on the streets.

But twenty one pilots wasn’t the only thing working out at the moment. Their relationship was getting stronger and stronger every day. They started sleeping in the same beds, they were making out frequently, watching corny movies together, caressing each other hands under the table… Sometimes, they even acted like a real couple. Josh was on the cloud nine. Everything was so far so good.

But Tyler wasn’t too happy about it.

In fact, he even found someone else. Her name was Jenna – Josh suspected but wasn’t quite sure; he didn’t care and didn’t want to remember that Tyler was in a serious relationship, that apparently his new girlfriend was perfect and etc. He was devastated.

At first, the pain was bearable. Josh could patiently hear Tyler babbling about her; politely nodding with a fake smile printed on his face. He could listen Tyler’s voice for hours, even if he was talking about being in love with someone that wasn’t him.

Josh met her. She was stupidly beautiful, polite, funny and then he finally understand why Tyler loved her so much.

The drummer was hopeful. Hopeful that his best friend – and now ex-lover – would change his mind and they would act like the old times. He was fighting, trying to make the things to be normal once again but when Josh met Jenna, somehow he found out that he had lost the war.

“Stop being a sore loser, Josh. You just have to try harder; push further.” He repeated the sentence to himself over and over again but at some point, it didn’t make sense anymore.

After a concert, Josh would ask him out on a dinner with the rest of the crew; Tyler would decline. _“Sorry, I can’t. I’m going to the movies with Jenna.”_ He would come back late at night, when Josh was already fallen asleep. Or then Tyler would sit a little bit further from him; would skip their Mario karts tournaments; would hug his a little less; would never reply his texts and would never look  straight at Josh’s eyes.

Josh was missing him. Not just missing the warmth of his skin, his soft lips and his calm breath on his chest when they used to lie on the same bed and sleep together; but Josh was missing his friend. He only saw Tyler when they were rehearsing or up on stage or in interviews and those kinds of things. It’s been awhile since Tyler started booking a room for himself.

Josh was beyond sad. Broken, maybe. He used to believe in love and everything but now his vision is blurry. He came to a point that he would find himself laughing sarcastically out of nowhere. Maybe he was laughing at love, or maybe laughing of the mess he was caught up into. Maybe he was just laughing of how stupid he is.

Josh was fed up.

“Tyler, can we talk for a sec?” they had finished a rehearsal and were leaving the stage.

Tyler’s eyes never met Josh’s eyes. Instead, he was too busy focusing on holding a water bottle with a hand while the other dried off his neck with a white towel.

“Hm, I can’t, I have to…” Tyler struggled with his words, eyes glued to the ground. “I have to get ready for…”

“It’s just a minute, please.” Josh clenched Tyler’s arms, making him stop on his heels.

Tyler shrugged. “Okay.”

At their dressing-room, Josh couldn’t contain the knot on his throat.

“Tyler, why are you acting like this?”

“Excuse me?” Tyler sat down in front of the vanity table, looking at his own hands.

“Can you look at me?!” Josh said in rage. Tyler obeyed.

“You’re so far away. We are only together when we are doing something related to the band. It’s so fucking lame. I don’t even feel like you are my best friend anymore. Now you’re like, Tyler-the-bandguy. I miss you, I miss our friendship.” Josh finished with a loud sigh.

“I’m still your best friend and I’ll always be. I know we aren’t spending so much time together but… I’m needing to think, you know…” Josh looked bluntly at him, holding back a ‘no, I don’t fucking know’.

“I’m thinking about getting married with Jenna.”

 

 

That night Josh couldn’t sleep. The countless promises that Tyler has ever made to him were quickly fading.

_I like being around you. I won’t ever leave your side._

_Your smile is so cute. I will always make you smile._

_This song that I wrote is kinda about you, I don’t know… You’re like, hmmm, like a muse. Like a good inspiration for me. I never wrote anything related about love and happy feelings before._

_I promise you._

_I  will always write songs about you and for you._

_Do you remember that conversation we had about soul mates? You were definitely right, they do exist. I’m 100% sure that you are my soul mate, Joshie, and I don’t even care about how corny this sounds._

_I swear!_

 

 

Things were slowly going back to normal. No, they still weren’t together but they were hanging out as friends once again. Sometimes Josh would go out with Tyler and Jenna because he was masochist and because he liked to see how happy Tyler gets when he is with her, but the most of times he would politely decline, the nausea too strong to handle.

But Josh wasn’t forgiving him. His heart still was aching, he still cries himself to sleep, thinking about the love of his life sleeping on the arms of someone else. Josh just wanted to know what he had done wrong; why Tyler couldn’t love him like he loved Jenna.

Maybe he was a bad kisser. Maybe he was too clingy. Maybe Tyler was scared. He didn’t know.

But maybe Josh had read it wrong. Maybe “their thing” was just professional and carnal. Concerts and kisses and songs and touches and drums & ukuleles and high hopes. Maybe they were just made for being friends and making music together. Maybe Tyler found out that they should just be like they were before.

Josh got lost in actions and some words went missing. He still is emotionally glued to Tyler but his heart can’t settle down to the anguish of broken wishes and unfulfilled desires.

 

 

Tyler proposed Jenna.

Josh was there at the wedding. Deep down, he was extremely happy for his friend. He found someone to love and that loves him equally and Tyler was so happy, so smiley, so fucking radiant – Josh couldn’t be sad.

The things between Tyler and Josh weren’t just lust; Josh knew it. There were a lot of feelings behind, he fucking knew it, he felt it. All the time Josh was preaching for himself that it would work out. Both of them had crossed many lines but then Tyler decided to go back. Josh was forced to accept it and to go back too.

Josh looked at the couple from afar. They were holding hands, so happy and so radiant. Tyler whispered something in Jenna’s ear and the blonde woman giggled. All the red-haired man could do was smile sadly.

Tyler placed his both hands on the face of his wife. He looked her straight in the eye and said something that Josh could lip-read perfectly and understand it from the opposite side of the room.

_I promise you._

But Tyler isn’t good with promises.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you had enjoyed!!!!! Negative or positive comments will make me happy


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